I got engaged recently! Yay!
It has been so fun to anticipate what is to come. I’m now in the whirlwind of wedding planning, which takes a lot more of my time than I thought, especially during a pandemic. However, I realized I am forgetting some important aspects to getting married many people are too busy to realize.
I am about to experience one of the biggest transitions of my life.
Coming home from the mission field was a big transition, there was a lot going on. I had a new found identity that I was trying to live out as well as being in a once familiar but new place with family and friends. I had to navigate my new self in an old environment. But getting married is a whole other ball game. In fact, even when I was dating it was a big transition as well. I am now learning to establish a whole new identity within who I am and there are somethings to remind and reflect on as I make another transition in my relationship.
What is mine, is now what is ours. My time is no longer mine, my body will no longer be mine, my money is no longer mine. What I don’t mean is that my husband has rule or dominion over me in any sort of way. What I do mean is we are becoming one now, it’s no longer I but us. Everything is shared, we have equality in a relationship to live a life together not apart. I can’t think of only me anymore. Even if you just started dating someone, you have to start thinking of the other person and invest time in that relationship now, it can’t be all about you anymore.
My relationship with God is now more important than ever. Not that it wasn’t important before but now my mind is occupied with someone else. It’s almost as if God now shares some space in my head and heart. It may be why Paul said it is better to be single. Not for the status or personal benefits, but because part of your mission is to minister to the person you are in a relationship as opposed to when you were single. I can’t stop praying and connecting with the Lord, I have to be intentional in spending time with God while pursuing deep connection with my significant other!
I must continue to pursue relationships with others. It’s very easy to get caught up in a dating relationship or with a spouse and shut the important people of life out. But it is also unhealthy. My boyfriend, fiancé, spouse cannot be the only person in my life. I have to continue to make time for others. In dating, I must not ditch my friends and be with my boyfriend every time I’m free. In marriage, while my husband/family is at the top of my list, I cannot forget about the other family and friends who are vital in my life. Seeking community within these relationships are important because we can’t do life alone. It cannot be just one person that I seek community with!
Relationships change aspects of our lives that without reflection can be missed and we can find ourselves frustrated. However, relationships can bring beautiful growth and change if we only be intentional through the transition of it all.
You may be already married and never taken time to reflect on the transition it was. You may be starting a new relationship. You may also be single and not in either of these places yet! Whatever that may be spend time reflecting on what that transition might be or could be like in the future!